When Your Child “Won’t” or “Can’t” – A Primer on Executive Functioning
Studies indicate that more than 1 in 5 children struggle with executive functioning, which affects their ability to plan, organize, focus on, and complete tasks – or more broadly speaking, to effectively navigate all the cognitive processes involved to “get things done”.
Executive Functioning and Your Child - Won’t versus Can’t
Unfortunately, executive functioning challenges can show up as or be perceived as resistance, lack of effort and motivation, and laziness – which are often met with messages such as, you just need to try harder, put forth more effort, be motivated, care more – while although typically well-intentioned, can exacerbate the situation for children by creating more resistance, frustration, shame, limiting beliefs about their abilities and intelligence, and leaves them struggling, without the help they need to develop necessary skills. When we accurately identify the struggle and recognize that it may not be so much that they “won’t” but rather that they “can’t” without the proper support, our perspective shifts and we can take a more informed approach to looking for effective and appropriate ways to help our children manage, develop tools and methods, and put in place accommodations that adapt to their needs and better position them to succeed.
Why is Executive Function Important? A Closer Look
Executive function can be described as the management system of the brain. We rely on executive functioning for everything from getting ready in the morning, to completing assignments, to regulating our emotions. It encapsulates many higher-level functions that are primarily controlled by the brain's prefrontal cortex. Executive function skills include organization, planning, prioritizing, time management, working memory, attention, focus, task initiation, persistence, self-regulation, impulse control, transitioning and reflection.
How Does Executive Function Develop and Why Do Some Struggle?
The prefrontal cortex region isn’t yet completely developed in children, and in fact continues to develop well into their 20’s, along with executive function skills. Also, there are neurodevelopmental differences that impact how one’s brain regions look and develop. Some individuals may have developmental delays or develop asynchronously – where they excel in some areas and struggle in others. Neurodiverse individuals, such as those with ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, learning disabilities, processing challenges, giftedness, and others, commonly struggle with developing executive functioning skills and are often a few years delayed.
How The Mind Spot Can Help
The Mind Spot can help find ways for your child to move out of frustration and struggle and provide support to you as parents. Make an appointment with Nancy Wendlandt or one of our other counselors today.