The Face of Depression

There are many misconceptions about depression, its causes, and the ways in which it manifests. Some of these misconceptions about depression include: 

·      Depression isn’t real, and depressed individuals should “just get over it.” 

·      Change your attitude and think positive thoughts, and you won’t be depressed. 

·      Depression is always preceded by a sad event or tragedy or is experienced the same as sadness. 

·      Depression is a sign of weakness. 

·      Depression is just part of life, and you have to live with it. 

·      Talking about depression only makes it worse. 

·      Depression looks the same for everyone who experiences it.

Before addressing some of these misconceptions, let’s talk about symptoms of depression. Symptoms of depression can include: depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day; markedly diminished interest in previously enjoyed activities; weight loss or gain; difficulty sleeping or sleeping more than usual; fatigue; feelings of worthlessness or guilt; diminished ability to think or concentrate; and recurrent thoughts of death. The symptoms range in severity and duration.

So, what does depression look like? This is where some of the confusion comes in. It’s easy to picture a severely depressed individual who rarely leaves their bed, is expressionless or overly emotional, and isolates themselves socially. Sure, this description may fit some people. Depression in these individuals may be more easily identifiable. However, the outgoing, funny, popular straight-A student sitting next to you in class, or a highly successful colleague in your office could be equally depressed. There isn’t a “one size fits all” way that depression looks. As unique as each individual is biologically, emotionally, socially, so is the way in which depression may manifest itself within them. Some people visibly look depressed, while others may be going to great lengths to present themselves as happy, as if they have it all together, while silently suffering inside. Social media is not helpful in this regard, as we may forget that what we see on social media is people’s “highlight reel,” rather than the “real reel.” 

Depression can be experienced very differently for different people. I’ve had clients who have expressed the exhaustion they feel from carrying the intense weight of their emotions, while others have said they feel nothing at all.

Is depression real? Is it just a sign of weakness? Anyone who has experienced depression can tell you that it is very real, and a great deal of research has been done to support this. Whereas sadness often follows a specific event or life change, the causes of depression vary and include trauma, biological, sociological, and/or psychological causes. It may even appear to come on inexplicably for some. Sadness tends to be more situational and may pass as the situation improves. It is normal to experience a range of emotions that ebb and flow. Depression, on the other hand, can linger for months or even years and can impact many aspects of an individual’s life including physical health, relationships with friends and family, and school and/or job performance. 

Depression is not a sign of weakness, nor is asking for help. Depression is your mind and your body saying, let’s take a look at what’s going on and see how we can make this better. Depression is treatable. Talking about it does not make it worse and can actually make it better. Sometimes just getting the thoughts out of your head and processing them with someone objective, like a counselor, can be very beneficial.

What does the face of depression look like? It could be the person sitting next to you. It could be you. So what is the takeaway message? Compassion. Compassion for others, because you never know what they may be experiencing at any given time. And, it is equally important to have compassion for yourself. Give yourself a little grace for what you are experiencing. Reach out and ask when you could use a little help. Reach out to a family member, friend, physician, or a counselor. It can get better. Or, be the face of kindness and compassion or the hand when someone else reaches out. Depression can be very challenging in that it can rob a person of the motivation to change when they may need it most. There is no shame in asking for help. There is help out there. There is hope. It can get better.